Tales of A Metaphysical Shopkeep. p1 Love and its spell

Love and Its Spell.

"What do you see?" Blue-Wolf asked in a hushed voice.
Sita continued to stare at the three cards in front of her. Blue-Wolf had determined that she should studdy an aspect of divination. She despised crystals and mirrors, it just made her feel like she was hallucinating.
Seven of Wands reversed, 4 of Cups and King of Pentacles reveresed.
Sita liked this deck, as it had many descripitve pictures.... and that seemed to help. Blue-Wolf didn't believe in book definitions, though he believed in knowing the basics... the bare basics.
"sooo.... " she began mussing out loud "wands. air... "
"ah but the book says fire." Blue wolf said in a humorous way.
"the book can bite me...the sword may use the air as its medium, but its made from earth by fire." she said ... still thinking aloud. "it gets its shape from fire."
"and what does it mean to you?" he asked her
She glowered at him... how the hell was she supposed to know?
"Go into alpha." He ordered.
Oh there was nothing for it... she took a deep breath, counted down with the chakra colors, then counted down again, putting herself in the alpha brainwave state of mild hypnosis. She then opeened her eyes and looked again at the card....
"he looks confused, no... he looks like he is unsure of himself, pondering what do do... which seems kind of stupid as there is someone behind him,,, waiting to strike.... I guess he doesnt notice that guy there... kinda dumb if you ask me."
"And this means?" he nudged her
"I guess Im going to be contemplating the meaning of the differance btwn swords and wands and their ruling elements and someone will sneak up behind me beat me to death w/thier staff." she said sarcastically.
Blue-Wolf laughed deeply. "Next card?"
"oh that doesnt look right!" She said suprised
"and why is that?"
"pft... Im not even in a 'relationship' I dont need to be bothered w/that kind of thing rt now." she said... logically she knew this... she was in colledge, on schollership. Not only did she have her scholastic studdies to concentrate on... but she had her shamanic training. Only when she was done for the day, and in those moments before she fell asleep, did remember that she was kind of lonely.
Blue-Wolf said Nothing.
"but this guy in this card... he looks miserable, he is falling down and has dropped all the cups."
she wondered if that signified that she had given up on attempting relationships...
"and what do you think that means to you?" he asked her.
She stared at the card, ignoring Blue-Wolf's icey eyes
Could it signify that she knew there was no way in hell that she and Blue-Wolf could ever have something other than a student- teacher relationship.
What an idiotic thought, how could a teacher ever have 'feelings' for a student? The whole idea was rather perverse in her mind.
She could feel him looking at her... boring into her with those piercing eyes.
"could be warning me not to get weird about not being in a relationship... like all my other female compatiots whine about ... hell they whine when they are in one."
"hmm. Next."
She was decidedly uncomfortable now.
"this guy.... well... he is sposed to be ...'adult' or something but he isnt.... and he.... well.. lackadazical maybe???" oh how she hated court cards.
"lets see penticles is material stuff... andskills rt?"
Blue wolf continued to stare at her... not helping
"I dunno... manipulative maybe? a 'collector' of 'things' but ... gets board quick... I mean he looks very board here."
"So how does this all apply to you?"
Her brain froze "I dont know !!!!" she declaired in a slight panic.
"Write it all down. You will be able to figure it out in time."
Bastard, she though. But she knew he was right."
She decided she would need to go to the caffee near her dorm and practice a bit before going to sleep... it wasnt the same as clearing her head, but at least she would be filling it up with other peoples junk.
The worst part was, she knew that was the wrong way.


6 mo later
Correcting Madness

She was miserable, crying again and alone.....
So much for her supposedly 'powerful' totem
(you ignored your own spirit guids) an inner voice reminded her.
Fuck off
She lifted the trash bag... in order to throw it out. She wondered if anything was ever giong to get better. The night air was cool and crisp... the was a soft wind in the darkness. That was where she was, she though, utter darkness.....
In the bag was the dinner it had taken her hours to make.... Trey had asked her....
And where was he now???
She nearly threw up all over the place.
He had braught the girl home.... why??? did he really not think that she wouldnt knwo what was going on?
It was her own fault. She had pretended not to know what was going on at Brian's house. No one told her, and when she confronted Trey, he just told her she was paranoid... but deep down, she'd known she was right.. just as she was right about Cindy.
Cindy has been very suprised. Trey had braught Cindy home so he could shower and they were going to to ... well Sita really didnt pay attention as she was to galled anyway.
So Trey had gone w/this girl to the Rapids and they sat and talked
Sita had been having flashes of that all day.... lovely seduction Trey had going with this girl.
Sita wasnt angry with Cindy... as Cindy was shocked when she found out Sita was 'involved' with Trey, she even apologised.
But they still left together... Sita refused more visions containing the contents of the rest of Trey's night.
She cleaned the house...
She sat in front of her computer..... 'thier' apartment..... they had even 'decorated the walls' Drawn all maner of pretty things on them.
What the hell was she doing... ?
Tey woke up at around 4 or 5 pm and then left by 6 pm and never made it home before 4 am... he wouldnt even call her to let her know he wouldnt be home by three.
What the hell was he doing?
Selling drugs at strip clubs.
It's not like that was a secret. She'd known that.... it was one of the main reasons she'd refused to 'date' him....
She started blankely at the blank screan... why did she start dating him....???
Oh because he seemed so smitten with her at first
and he was so romantic and sweet
and Poetic......
Not even after the frist three months of her initial brush off did he give up the attempt to court her.....
And then... one day.... she just did... three days later they had spent every bit of time together, and she had found herself to bussy with that to continue her shamanic training. One week after that they had gotten an aptartment together...
What the hell did she do that for?
In those first months, he decided to date a freind of hers, they had moved in together and it had gone badly. She had tired to help them... but he'd ended up hiding from her more often than not in Sita's dorm....
He never had anything nice to say about said girlf freind and
Sita put her head in her hands.... that was happening to her now.
Three days after they had gotten the apt together, he had asked her to handfast him.
three days after that, he started cheeting on her
not just over at bryans house... (Sita didnt even know the name of all the people that flooded through that apt... let alone all the girls that generally hung out there) but with the previous girlfriend.
Why did she start going out with him?
There was a patern... he would see a girl... 'get' her, get board and move on... but for some reason. and Sita saw it now... they had all been institutionalised.
The ones she knew of... her previous friend had.... the one before that....and now, she was loosing it....
WHY did she even care if he came back at all???
Why did she want him to?
She did, and badly, like a heroin adict wanted /needed his drugs...she wanted him back.
WHY?
She again stared at her blank computer screen.
She had been utterly miserable the whole time. He barely ever spent time with her.... and she had to deal w/the flash like vision of him whial he went on his marry way seducing the females that caught his attention.
When she confronted him, he told her she was hallucinating and crazy.
And she believed that maybe he was right.
But why? So much in her life has happend that when she began studdying with Blue-Wolf, that she had learned to accept her visions and he had helped her find the proof of this, looking through old news papers ... and watching current news.... she wasnt usually wrong....
so why did she believe Trey when he said she was ?
This wasnt the first night she had spent like this,,,, crying because she was ignored and because he was never home. All he seemed to do was take showers and sleep. His life was not here... it was elsewhere.
WHY did she want him back?
Her nerves were shot... her grades were slipping, she may even loose her schollership.
Tears were again pouring from her eyes. She grabbed for a tissue but there were none left. Why didnt he love her anymore?
"did he ever?" the voice from earlier asked.
Probably not... she'd been suspecting he'd been using her... but she didnt care....or like he said, she was wrong... he declaired his love for her often enough... she was just paranoid... he'd said.
"words.... thats all." said the voice.
fuck,,,, she was probably having a psychotic eppisode... eather that or her subconsios was pissed as fuck and trying to be heard.
She stopped, frozen at that thought, in the middle of the hall, in front of her bathroom.
Since when did she not believe in the spirits... ???
She felt a deep seeted fear.
She had always seen the spirits, human and not, could always hear them. She knew that her totems were real, as were her guids...
when did she stop believing in them and why especially when all her experiances had just streangthend these beleifs, bring about validity. Now she could understand someone w/lack of experiance not to believe... it was hard to believe in these things if you didnt experiance them.
why?
she stared at the wall... looking at the writing Tey had done in the pretty theban script...
again she was shocked and startled...
why
had she never actually read them? Its not like she couldnt.
submission
she felt another deep chill.
She walked in the bathroom and washed her face, blew her nose, washed her face.
One last sniff, she looked at the silver writing on the mirror.... mixed in with the celtic script
Lovers
Dominion
That combination seemed far more desturbing than comforting. She left the room, then again sat in front of her pc.
Why did she love Trey? She didnt even like him.
She pulled out a piece of paper and atempted to make a list of all the things she loved about him. For ten minuts she stared at it. Maybe she just wasnt thinking straight. She then wrote out her first 'love' then almost, beyond reason, couldnt stop herself from writing. Although they had broken up after highschool and had gone to differant colleges... then she grabbed another paper and found herself writing about Blue-Wolf... she almost started crying again. She missed him enough for it to be, at the very least, mildly painful. She again tried a list for Trey. The paper remained blank.

Sita got up and wandered about the aptartment, over every door was the word peace... loyalty. Dominion. She walked to 'thier room' he never really slept with her anymore. She pulled out her suit cases and began to fill them whail keeping acount anything that may be missing. Only a few things were..... then she packed up her alter and found a paper of ...fidelity and stability and .. she wasnt sure but ... the last part was a binding with her name on it. She was feeling incredably ill. She did another round about the apartment, grabbing miscalanious items that here only 'hers' as she didnt want anything that might be 'thiers' ...

Terror wraped its way around her throte.
"Yes." the harsh voice said into the phone.
"It's Sita." She siad, attempting to steady herself.
"It has been some time." Blue-Wolf spoke the obvious.
"I... am getting out of a bad situation. Will you help me?" her voice almost shook, she almost started crying again.
"Yes."
Tears slid down her face.
"I ... can't get another dorm this term, so I need to find somewhere to stay untill I can." she said quitely.
"for starters." he told her.
"yes." she agreed
"I will be there shortly, some of my new students will be acompanying me." he informed her before he hung up the phone. She'd been expecting him to make her appologise for brushing him and her lessons off, to admit she was wrong and stupid. She stood holding the phone with out hanging it up. She definately needed to get out of this space.... needed to get away from Trey and his influence.
It occured to her that Blue-Wolf hadnt asked where she was.


She was shaking and staring at the paper with the binding. Crying again when the knock on the door startleed her.... she almost jumped out of her skin. She literallly ran to the door and opened it. And there Blue-Wolf stood, with about five younger males... probably first year college students....
He studdied her for a minut, his long brown hair bound back in a simple band, he wore jeans and a t-shit that hung aournd his lithe body. His skill seemed to glow godlen and his eye of blue icey fire.
His eys fell down to the paper in her hand. She held it out to him.....
He took it with out word and pondered it, making a face that showed his unpleant feelings toward it. She backed up into the room and allowed all to enter.
They were rather cheery and congenial, Lance, Johnathen, Chris. Mark... she tried not to laugh... all biblical names.
Blue-Wolf then wandered about the apartment, looking at all the 'art work' all the 'things'
"you plan to leave all of this behind?" He asked her when he was done.
"I packed all that I needed and was mine before I moved in here, and all my personal items."
"Good. Now.... all of you... I want you to look around, this place is sevearly bound. See if you can find all the means this was done." he looked at her "very powerful."
She felt herself turning red and looking down in shame. To her suprise, he lifted her chin up so that she had to look up into his eyes, craning her neck as he was much taller than she. "that makes you no less. and that" he said boring into her eyes "will not help you."
She sniffed.
"you have suffered much misery." he said softly, letting go of her face and walking toward the kitchen. He wore a 'bag' of doe skin and from it he grabed black salt and sage. Then he rumaged around for a bowl, then unceramoniously he tore her name from the rest of the paper and burnt it....
"you declair you are free?" he asked as he handed her the chared remains of the bowl.
"I am free." she replied accepting the bowl.
"That is past." He told her, she again repeated his words, then she went to the bathroom and dumped the ashes into the toilet. She watched them dissapear after the flushing.
Blue-Wolf chuckled behind her. "What an appropriate place for that."
She nodded.
"we must now seperate you from this dwelling."
She nodded at him as the 'boys' began burning the white sage....
"and after?" she asked... a bit affraid.
"You start your spring break next week?" he asked
"yes." she answered, wondering why it mattered
"then you will go vision questing. But before then, you must aproach your shadow."
She felt her eyes pop open as if she'd been electrocuted. She was affraid to meet her shadow... Hadnt she already proved what a horrible person she was? Why did this need more confrontation?
"where do I go from here?" she asked in a small voice.
" I have a guest room. Then you go to school, you find your shadow. Then, we go to the grand canyon."
He waked away, stoped and looked at her. "This, you must do... as is this seperation from this place." He picked up his drum...
WHAT was she supposed to do !!?!?!
She watched him for a moment, then she sat where she was, and went to go find her totem. It was rykiki this time.
'stupid girl'
'thanks' she answerd
'now what?' he asked
'thats what I wanted to ask you.' why did they make these things so damn difficult.
'don't you know?' he glared at her with his orange-red eyes.
She shifted her preception ... and was neirly sick when she saw the the numberous bindings. Then she began to 'untie' them , so to speak. Durring the process many of her guides and guardians came to throw in thier two cents worth.
'this should teach you well, how not to succomb to desception.'
'and recognise the energies that bind.'
"but how do I avoid self deception?" Sita asked
'you have to know who you are'
'you have to know your shadow'
ah damn it....
Sita finished the 'unbinding' nearly colapsing with exhaustion. It had been six months since she did any kind of working. She was shaking, sweating... cold and hot.
Blue-Wolf wrapped her in a blanket and picked her up. The 'boys' grabbed the things she had packed, she drifted off into sleep.

She woke with an unreasonable amouth of rage... it was as if it were pouring out of her skin....
She sat up, looking into the dark. The bedroom was spacious.... she slipped out of the covers self consciously. At least Blue-Wolf hadn't changed her clothes.... she made her way through the dark house to his working room. It was a bit set off from the rest of the house, with a hall way leading to it... there was no 'floor' but earthen ground. The room could be used as a smoke lodge or a sweat lodge. She somehow wasnt surpised to find Blue-Wolf, sitting playing his drum in the center of the large room. He was wearing traditional clothing... all blue ... feathers as well... a white and a black feather. He did not stop, or pause to look at her.

She sat down, looking at her rage, then changed her mind and began to walk the circle around the center of the room. Blue-Wolf had sage and other incenses burning, creating a thich smoke. In front of her, she could make out a man... he faced her, then slowely turned and started a 'dance'.. she followed his movements, then .... she looked for the 'lines' of Trey.... she followed the one from thier apt, grabbed it,,, the slowely one by one, grabbed the lines extending out.... as many as thier were from his past that were still attatched to all the women he had bespelled to madness and pain.... she wished she could be more gentle.... but she was to out of practice so she ripped the lines out of the women by merging her blue fire with the gross red lines of Trey. Then she took every single line, and wrapped them around Trey... binding him to his own vile energies.....

The light baraged her.... she blinked ... everything was a bit fuzzy. Blink .... blink... the pale almost white blue walls took shape as did the matching trappings of the room. Differant shades of blues and greens and some purples... it was a beautiful room.
"Here." Blue-Wolf handed her a woden tray with eggs and cheese and bacon. There was a glass of juce on the table by the massive bed she was in.
She was still tired.....
"we will be having some guessts soon."
?????? we???? she looked at him blankly
"Many freinds of mine live on the coast, there is a hurricane heading this way. It seems to have recently developed." he said sternly, and at first she thought he was glaring at her, but then she saw his laugh lines around his mouth twitch.
Again she hung her head... she hadn't thought about what she was doing at all...... now many peoples lives would be disrupted by the rampant rage energies.....
Agin, he lifed her face up "Now." he said stearnly "you will be more awair of what you do."
She felt her eyes well up with tears... but she did not allow them to escape her eyes.
"I do not pity that man. He is chaos, that which you wraped him with was chaos, chaos it its own cuase and efect."
"Its not him I pity." she said quietly. He sat in the chair beside the bed.
"Yourself?"
she frowned "I think I have spent enough time feeling sorry for myself... all those people that will be caught in the storm."
Blue-Wolf shruged "they will be stronger for it, or they will perish, it is the way of things. They choose to live there. There is more self pity. You still fear your own shadow."
damnit ....
She concentrated on eating, fine then, she would confront her shadow tonight.